Really good day today!! No anxiety attacks!! Yay!! I have been researching about EMDR therapy and I may look into tying it out. I'd like to see what it's all about more before I ask about it! I'll probably blog about it when I know more!! I always do!! Haha!
So we went shopping today. We got Christmas gifts for some family members and Elsie!! So excited to shop for her!! She was such a good girl today, she was in her carseat for a lot of it and she was still so happy!! She loved shopping - hope she doesn't make a habit of that in the future haha! No I'm kidding I'd love to go shopping with her when she's older!!
I know a lot of people who are getting ready to have children with developmental problems or already have some and it breaks my heart! I pray for them everyday to either find out what will help the baby or that the baby will be born with less than they anticipate in terms of needing medical care long term. I couldn't imagine that feeling of being so excited to have a baby and then told that something SERIOUS is wrong with your baby and they may not live long after birth!! Oh my god!! I'd lose it mentally!! I pray for closure for those I knew who have miscarried. That's awful too!! I know how lucky I am to have had a great pregnancy and a very healthy and happy baby and it makes me feel horrible that I am struggling so much with the birthing process. Because really that's only a fraction of what pregnancy really is!! The development in the womb and the health after the birth and beyond is really what matters... The birthing portion is for the mother and I feel sometimes that I am selfish for wishing things happened differently, because if they had - maybe that would mean she'd have problems. A friend of mine had a vaginal birth but almost lost her baby, and is still struggling with some things in terms of her baby's health. I am so lucky and so grateful for this beautiful, healthy baby that we were blessed with. I know that I will have another opportunity for a new birthing process someday and if things are different and vaginal - great!! I'll be so happy!! If not - great!! As long as baby is healthy, and happy!! Life is good ya'll!!!
Starting first shift tomorrow! So excited but nervous, I know it will be all good. Short entry tonight but I gotta get some sleep up in 5 hours!
Night!! - Sarah