Monday, March 4, 2013

Day 28:

So its been a long time since I've blogged at all...I'm a little apprehensive to blog now that my privacy has been betrayed.
I'll walk you through the last few weeks!! I no longer work at Oaklawn at all anymore. I was contacted by my supervisor and the VP of human resources. They informed me they would like to talk to me and wanted to set up a meeting. I'm not stupid and I know that means you are getting fired...You do not meet with VP of HR unless they are kicking you to the curb. SOOO I told them I'd rather not come in and that I was very confused as to what this was about and asked for more information. They told me that it was not something to discuss via e-mail and that they'd like to set up a phone conference to talk to me about things. Mind you this was a few days after I taught a CPR class with a new(er) instructor. They proceeded to tell me that because I had people pick up two of my CPR/First Aid classes for me and that I wasn't in attendance it showed that I was not fulfilling my obligations as an instructor. I explained that I myself covered for myself and I didn't see an issue if the class was still taught why it was a big deal that someone else besides me taught it. BUT of course that was a stipulation for my supervisor to keep me as casual CPR instructor was my attendance issue since I was terminated from residential for attendance related issues. BLAH BLAH BLAH!! So then here comes the unbelievable betrayal from Oaklawn!! VP of HR tells me that it was brought to her attention that I had a personal blog (key word in my mind was personal) and that I made a comment that was inappropriate about my supervisors. This blog as I understand is available for the public but its not broad casted for all to read. I did NOT share this with many people - I know people view it daily and keep updated on it but only a few people have I given this address to and I have not publicly shared this link with ANYONE so Oaklawn had to have searched me out to find this blog and read each and everyone of these entries searching for something to nail me on. AND they found it!! This is word for word the ONLY thing I said about my supervisors in my blog with the exception of this entry...
"I was supposed to have an interview at Bashor tonight... I couldn't bring myself to go to it!! I am so happy to be done at Oaklawn at least with the residential! I have been so happy since I don't work there anymore. That place was so awesome to me in 2008-2009. I grew so much as a person. I am WAY more open minded, understanding, assertive, and outgoing than I ever was before in my entire life! I am so thankful and grateful to Oaklawn for the skills it has taught me. I know that I will use those skills as a parent and I am thankful to have been part of the organization. I think once the DBT unit closed down and we didn't focus so much on those individuals I lost hope in Oaklawn! The DBT was my favorite program ever! I put so much effort and time into the unit! I was there where those girls were I wanted to help them and that was The ONLY time at Oaklawn I felt useful and felt that I actually helped save some girls lives! It was such an amazing feeling, and since then I never felt good about my job. It suddenly wasn't about the kids anymore!! Now that I am back in a hospital working I feel as if there is purpose!! I help people get better - in an entirely different way now but it's purposeful!! I don't feel taken advantage of by my supervisors!! I love my job!! And I need to get healthy mentally so I can be happy in all aspects of my life. I have nothing to be angry about in my life, I have a beautiful daughter, a loving wife, a healthy relationship, my own health and I am doing well for myself!!"
I didn't name anything in specific about any certain person - I was speaking very general about the organization and it was nothing factual it was my opinion about the place and how things have changed. I understand that things need to change to a certain degree and I didn't feel that the change was something that worked for me and I was not comfortable anymore and it was NOT entirely Oaklawn's fault. I wasn't prepared to change with their expectations. This MIND YOU was from an entry dated 11/28/2012 and I was terminated from my employment because of it on 02/18/2013!!
Here's my opinion about why it was so much after the entry and after my termination from Residential. 1) it was now 4 months since I was terminated from a full time position and you can only claim unemployment for UP TO 3 MONTHS after termination from full time position so them keeping me as casual had some SERIOUS ulterior motives!! 2) they had to search back to November to find something in my blog that was "inappropriate" if this was brought to their attention now why would it be an entry from 3months ago? I think that either they sought me out to find something or they waited to act on this allegation until I couldn't claim unemployment anymore.
ANYWAY I feel betrayed and shocked that Oaklawn would do this. I knew they were capable of some shady things but this BY FAR topped the cake!! I am very happy to be done with Oaklawn. I am SO VERY happy with my job at Goshen Hospital and the individuals I work with. I am doing well at this point of my life. I am happy and I am moving forward and Oaklawn always seemed to keep me in a stand still and now I am no longer allowing that to happen.
SO back to an update on ME. Elsie is almost 8 months old, shes almost been alive as long as it took me to make her!! How crazy is that?! I have been able to successfully breast feed her for almost 8months now, and I had to do some recon work as far as my supply goes but I was able to save it and increase it back to a good stocked supply when I go to work. I will be needing to increase again here soon, but I am confident that I will be able to breast feed her for 12 months. I actually cannot wait until she turns 1 year old in terms of breast feeding!! As much as I love it I am ready to be done with the pumping. I want to eat seafood BAD!! I am very nervous however to dry up though. I do not know what to expect, I haven't researched much about it but I am sure when I do that I will be more prepared!! I will hopefully be able to donate my excess breast milk, because it would break my heart to have to throw away all the frozen breast milk that I have stocked up. My mom even has some in her deep freezer!!
Elsie is dong amazing crawling, and pulling herself up on things to standing. She falls often but she never gives up and that encourages me to never give up. I see her get frustrated but she still goes for what she desires and I think that if most adults followed this state of mind we'd accomplish our goals and meet our dreams more often than we actually do. Shes amazing!! She is my best friend!! She is the funniest person I know!! McKenzie her and I are so happy, she loves us both so much, and she's so happy!! We'll be moving soon, and into an apartment - it will be very different but it will work out for the best. We can have our dogs and we're going to be safer and happier with a 24 hour maintenance service and not required to do so much house repair etc. Its moving that is going to suck - but we'll be alright.
I'll update soon!! Thanks for the support!! Whichever one of you who read this and ratted me out to Oaklawn - if you did... EFF YOU!! You are petty and pathetic!!
Sorry I had to get that out there...
Til Later - Sarah