Sunday, February 3, 2013

Day 27:

It's so funny! As soon as I blog about my worries with my milk supply, I leave for work this morning and notice that I just put 10oz of milk in the fridge, and that there is 3 more bags of 8oz or more in the fridge for today!! I don't know if you realize how absolutely AWESOME that is!! I am so happy to be ahead (in terms of milk supply) again!! I don't think I'll have enough to freeze or anything - BUT its a start!!

Also Miss Elsie fell asleep in her bed all by herself last night!! We gave her a bath, and she was whining a bit, so we set her in her bed. She did not cry but whined a little bit and continued to rub her blanket on her face! She has yet to be able to sleep on her own!! We were such proud little Mommies last night!! She didn't eat before she fell asleep so she woke up right as we were going to bed at like 10:30pm but ate and went to sleep!! Shes doing a bit better in terms of her sleeping! I know that we're lucky if she sleeps 5 hours! But it feels AWESOME when she does.

I have three days off after today! I am super excited! I do have to teach CPR at Oaklawn on Tuesday but that will no be too bad! I have noticed a HUGE difference in my attitude and my stress level since I have worked at Goshen Hospital. I enjoy my job, I enjoy getting up everyday and going to work! I don't remember a time when I did that at Oaklawn!! As much as I loved the kids there things were not like they used to be. The focus switched from the kids to the money - and I am not sure the exact time that all switched but it was very sad when it happened and that's when I started to not like being there. I struggled a lot with Oaklawn. I am happy, so happy, where I am now - I love the people I work with (there's a few annoying ones) and I love the patients that I work with. Some are heart wrenching and some warm my heart! Its so fulfilling and rewarding - There is nothing like this!

I hope someday to be able to work in the birthing unit. I think it would be awesome to help mothers through and after labor - it wouldn't have anything to do with babies but they'd be there obviously and I think it would be a great place to work.

Slow weekend at the hospital - slow is good - except it makes for a very dragging day!! I do get to spend more time with the patients and talk to them and get to know them! Its nice to hear stories from the older patients. This 90 year old man was telling me about when he saw a computer for the first time in June of 1947. He was at graduate school and he said it took up an entire room!! He said that all that fitting into an ipad is why he wants nothing to do with modern technology!! haha! LOVE IT!! He was adorable!!!

Well getting busy - so I need to take off!! Til Later!!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Day 26:

Things are going well, my little munchkin is almost crawling! She's 19 whole pounds now!! 26 1/4 inches long!! Shes wonderful!! She was in the 50th percentile for her height, and still the 90th for her weight!! I talked to the doctor about lactation. I am lowering my supply and I'm trying to keep it up and keep enough milk to provide for Elsie while I am away at work for 12+ hours. There have been times that McKenzie has had to use the frozen milk. Elsie is picky of course and she does not like to drink ANYTHING but fresh milk or straight out of the boob! Shes a little stinker!! We have tried to supplement with Formula but she will have nothing of it!! I am proud of her for not liking it - it grosses me out too - but that puts a lot of pressure on my to keep my milk supply up! I've made some cookies and taken herbs and I am not having a lot of success with any of it. I am able to make enough still about 32(ish) ounces a day for her. She sometimes drinks more than that however! I talked to a lactation consultant at work one day and she suggested to offer more solid foods and less milk while I am away at work, and nurse her when I am home. So I think we're going to try that too - she LOVES food (obviously shes 19lbs now! haha) She also suggested that if we have to use the frozen to mix it with the fresh, that way we're using less fresh and keeping a good stock in the fridge. We'll try our best. I am not concerned with supplementing - if we have to we have and I think that I have done GREAT at keeping her strictly breast milk for 6 months of her life. Doctor also said that she is in NO way lacking of anything - Shes super healthy and my breast milk has accounted for a lot of her health. McKenzie and I BOTH had the stomach flu last week - and her awesome little immune system refused to give it to her!! YAY!! It was hard to breast feed feeling like that, but everything I've read was that because my body makes antibodies to the virus I had - it gives them to baby via my breast milk!! MY BODY IS AMAZING!! I keep impressing myself almost everyday. I think that having a baby is seriously the BIGGEST confidence booster there is - if you didn't like yourself and your body before (maybe its not as pretty) but your body just did something that only women can do and not all women can successfully do this! Its made me feel pretty awesome about myself!! I know I'll NEVER wear a two piece bathing suit again, but I had a baby!!

McKenzie told me last night that she thinks she wants 3 kids. (that's my ideal number) She goes back and forth so much though! Sometimes she doesn't want anymore, because it was too scary with the c-section and all that, but then there are days where she tells me she wants 3 like last night!! I know that we'll have as many as we feel is right for our family! Luckily we get to make that decision pretty concrete - because we don't have an option for the "oopsie" baby! ALL of our children will be planned, and wanted!! I told Kenz last night I'll be pregnant as many times as she wants me to be!!

I feel so lucky everyday for the experiences I have faced in the last 6 months!! I am so excited for the next experiences to come. There was a void in my life until 6 months ago! I was and am happy with McKenzie - but a family is what has made me feel complete!! I am so debted to my daughter - and she'll never know how much I truly needed her in my life!! I'll NEVER be able to repay her for the amazing gifts she has given to me! Because of her I have a new found believe in God, I actually have a relationship with my mother, my relationship with McKenzie is better than ever (I think), just so many things!!

We're getting ready to move out of our house, we need something with 2 or 3 bedrooms!! Elsie needs her own room!! We need our own room!! I am excited but sad at the same time to move out and not have Don and Helen as our landlords anymore! They are amazing!! They have been awesome with us!!

Changes are a coming! Here I am welcoming them with open arms and a smile!! Excited for the future!!