Monday, December 31, 2012

Day 23:


I cannot believe that it is almost 2013!! I remember being BARELY pregnant last new years eve and spending it with Brittany and Micah. It was a great time!!

I have been thinking a lot about being pregnant. I miss it so much! I miss the feeling of life inside of me. I miss the feeling of being needed THAT much! I know Elsie needs me and Kenz - and her entire life is dependent on us. It is just such a different feeling having that feeling of life growing inside of you. I always dreamt of being pregnant - I knew it was going to be amazing and it surpassed all my expectations. I could not have imagined how amazing it ended up being.

I see my body now - and its NEVER going to be the same. Some days that makes me sad - but most days it makes me feel more like a woman. I feel more powerful and more confident knowing that I grew life inside my body and I gave birth to a living breathing human being! NOTHING is cooler than that! NO ONE can tell me that I am not important  - because to AT LEAST one person I am everything. I hope that Elsie can see how special this was some day. I never knew you could love some one so much!

My mom made a comment to me about not knowing how much my parents truly loved me until now - until I had a little baby girl of my own - and she was so right! I never imagined that my mother and father loved me this much - I was so blind to the amazingness of being a parent.

I see more of my friends mentioning that they are pregnant with their first and second babies! I am so happy for them. I am so excited to someday be able to feel that life growing inside of me again. I cannot wait to give Elsie a sibling (well I can wait haha! I am GOING to wait) fortunately McKenzie and I have the power and ability to truly plan a pregnancy.

We also have talked about how lucky we are to plan our pregnancies and not have surprises - when we have another baby - or even Elsie too - we want them - we are prepared for them and some people who didn't plan may not enjoy pregnancy as much as we did because we wanted it and we were able to prepare for it before it happened and while it happened.

I am so excited to ring in the new year with the two loves of my life. I am so lucky to have these two beautiful women in my life and I am thankful for McKenzie sticking by me and holding strong when I was struggling the most. I was so afraid for a while that I was going to lose her - and I am thankful for McKenzie's love for me that she knew we would make it through this - and raise our daughter together. Elsie already has had so much love and support in her 5 months of being alive I am so excited to share this next year with her and all the more to come too!!

She is so smart and so beautiful - I am so proud and so lucky to have this amazing little girl as my daughter and I don't think I can say it enough!!!

Happy New Year!! 2012 was an amazing year for the "Hunt" family and 2013 is only going to be better!!

Staying hopeful and keeping a smile on my face!!

 - Sarah

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