Thursday, August 21, 2014

Day 49: Thankful

I sit here and I am watching T.V. Elsie and McKenzie are sleeping, soundly and peacefully. I cannot express my thankfulness for the two of these ladies in my life!! McKenzie struggles with anxiety everyday and still goes to work everyday - she is extremely frustrated with her mental health and I hate that I cannot do a damn thing to help her!! I try to keep the house clean (I'm not the best housekeeper and that's NO secret). She works so hard so I can stay home with Elsie - It means the world to be that she chooses to do that for us! I have ALWAYS worked and when we got pregnant with Elsie I always imagined I always would. As soon as that little girl was in my arms - my desire to work 5 days a week was GONE. Second shift was DEFINITELY out of the question lol and I got that job at the hospital and it was awesome I was working while Elsie was sleeping at first and only 2-3 days a week. Then I switched to first shift and still only 3 days a week and it was still great!! I was happy and working was manageable. THEN I lost my job - and THEN she got sick and I kind of lost it a little bit - I tried to find a job before Elsie got sick but McKenzie stepped up right away when I lost my job (I was so upset and down on myself) McKenzie said that it was her choice to step up and get a job, and she got a great job!! Elsie got sick and I cannot imagine ever going back to work!!

It is so weird how roles change, and how much has changed since May of 2013. October 2011 I would have never imagined this being my life. And I've even talked about homeschooling Elsie WHAAAT?!?!? I've always been so anti-homeschooling - but with diabetes I want to make sure Elsie can manage her insulin intake herself before she goes to school. I think I am a fairly smart person and I can definitely teach Elsie elementary school subjects - there are a lot of places and groups that help get you set up etc...

I am also thankful for the Dexcom - it has been a HUGE game changer - helps me sleep better at night - the insulin pump has increased Elsie's quality of life for sure as well as our own and the Dexcom has definitely saved us some stress - as well as caused it but you win some you lose some! There are still days that we seem to have NO idea what we are doing and that just reminds us how awful this disease is - and that we cannot slack at all. If there is one thing diabetes does is keep you on your toes... :-) I wouldn't change my life for anything. I've never been happier - I am so thankful for the ability to communicate with McKenzie as well as we do. There are of course our own battles that we handle when they come but nothing is perfect and we are certainly not. We love each other and make decisions together (sometimes its hard) and at a result we have an amazingly healthy baby girl!!

I am thankful for my Mother - she has been such a huge support for our family!! She's helped whenever we've needed it - she only shows unconditional love for all three of us. She is our only trained diabetic babysitter and only person we can trust to be alone with Elsie without us - I hope that number will change in the years to come - but for now we are thankful for her desire to be there for us when we need some time to ourselves. As a parent of a diabetic we don't get date nights or much time at all ALONE - and it makes things a little more difficult sometimes... but we make the hour at night after Elsie goes to bed well worth the quality time!!

Life has definitely changed in several different ways since we introduced Elsie into our lives - some good, some bad, some happy, some sad but I wouldn't ask for anything different to be my life right now. I am insanely happy and VERY happy to be able to say that -

Been a while since I've posted in here hopefully I'll be posting more SOON!! Thanks for reading and supporting!!

Til Later